Normalising Men’s Group Work
In 2020 I entered, and have been shortlisted for, the Movember Social Connections Challenge with my idea for ‘A Thousand Fathers Project’. My proposal is to build an app and interface which will serve as an introductory platform for men to Men’s groups. It will be informative for what goes on in Men’s groups and will offer a database for Men’s groups and Men’s group work facilitators in the UK.
As men we often struggle to ask for help. We want to be seen as competent and as someone who has answers or solutions. We like being asked for help! Being asked for help says to us that someone values our opinions or has some level of respect for us and our acquired knowledge and experience. One age old example is that we don’t ask for directions. A joke doing the rounds asks, “Why does it take millions of sperm to fertilise one egg? - Because they won’t ask for directions!” Can you imagine how difficult it is to recruit for Men’s Group work with this kind of mentality? Joining a group like this might express to others that we feel inadequate in some way. And joining a group over individual therapy means that others would see us in our “inadequacy”.
This predicament inspired me to come up with the idea for A Thousand Fathers Project. It is underpinned by the aim of normalising Men’s Group work. Wouldn’t it be a relief to have a space where learning from other Men was ok? Better still, that other men were willing to sit in that struggle with you and, at the same time, share their struggles too? And that this was a normal part of our society, in place to support men!
Something that makes Men’s Group work unique is the mutual support that’s offered amongst the different generations who partake. Older men can often provide a nourishing support for younger men, and they have lived through new experiences such as; becoming a new father, having to go through the process of changing careers, learning how to handle conflict in a marriage, and so on. Younger men often bring energy and vitality into Men’s groups that can reconnect older generations with their youthfulness and provide inspiration.
My vision is that in normalising Men’s Group work communities can round up their Men and through their togetherness can create a unique Men’s Group space. A space that can hold the male energy which, left to its own devices, can lead to something destructive or become wasted and devalued. Watch this space for further developments of A Thousand Fathers Project and please get in touch for further information about how to join one of the Men’s Groups I offer!
